There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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