Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I believe in your delicious
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
