if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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