Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
