tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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