This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
