when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
