Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
