so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
