Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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