so that wasnt chicken after all
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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