i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
