there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
