That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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