Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
