If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize