friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is wine microwaveable?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
