I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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