HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
