You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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