apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it because I queefed?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
