dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
