I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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