He disabled his match.com account in front of me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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