btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
