How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drunk is not a location!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
