Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
