did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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