His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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