I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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