Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
