I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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