I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
