I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
