You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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