Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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