There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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