I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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