positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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