I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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