I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
