Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
