I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
