do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
