Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
