alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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