I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
