He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
