It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
