Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
