In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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