I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
