I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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