I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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