I am full of burrito and curiosity
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He better not be in your backpack
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
