Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
