Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
