happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
