I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
