Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
