I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
